Thursday, January 24, 2008

More on romance

I liked the discussion that ensued after the romance entry this week, so thought I'd put it up so everyone would see it.

At 1/22/2008 10:28:00 AM, Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,

Be careful not to shut the door to a future relationship because you feel like you are "done" now that you realize Love is all we need, and that you have it right now. This sense of satisfaction may be just the thing some lonely, but fine man will need in his life at some point -- and you would be a great blessing in his life. God governs our relationships. Yes, our one true relationship is with Him, but it is manifested in our human life in whatever way blesses us most. So, don't close your mind or your love (which you express in abundance), and be willing to share your life with another, if that would bless each of you. Just because today you are doing well without a male companion, doesn't mean that you will never have a romantic relationship again. Hand it over to God who 'setteth the solitary in families.'

Vicki

At 1/22/2008 11:24:00 AM, Anonymous said...

I agree with Vicki...Divine Love expresses Herself through our human relationships.

However, this reminds me of two Bible verses in Isaiah:

"For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called."

"Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree.

For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant;

Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off."

God is Love...He is all the love we really need. I am trying to see God as my Husband on a daily basis. And I am realizing that one day I will come to a point in my experience where I will be complete and Soul will rejoice in its own, where human passion has no part. Your blog reminds me, once again, that I am already complete...with or without a man in my life :)

At 1/22/2008 03:15:00 PM, Anonymous said...

I just wanted to express my gratitude for your blog (even if Fridays and holidays are out :P). Your posts are often so timely for me. Today's post is no exception; yesterday I was having a lonely day and was even having difficulty focusing on God is Love, my ultimate comforter. But this post, and the CSO meeting last night (intimate size of 2 attending members, including myself) revived my thoughts and gratitude, and reminded me that Love is much more than romance or physical presence. thank you!
-Jules

At 1/23/2008 08:11:00 AM, Laura Matthews said...

Just one more thing I'd like to add, and that is I do resist the assumption that being part of a couple is by definition better than not being part of a couple.

I understand the great benefits and gratitude that happily coupled people feel, and how they want everyone else to be equally blessed. And I thank them for their well meaning hopes for me.

However, being single is just as valid in my book, and I don't think one should assume that because someone is single, they're somehow not finished and they still should yearn for and work toward couple-dom.

There are plenty of single people out here -- are we unintentionally thinking of them all as incomplete?

At 1/24/2008 02:33:00 AM, Magdiel Martinez said...

Laura,

I agree with you. I went to a Christian liberal arts university. There was a phrase coined there: "Ring by Spring, or your money back." I think more than half of my friends there are either engaged or married.

I remember a particular friend who stressed the importance of being married to a Christian guy or girl. I don't think she could ever picture a life in singlehood. This person was so unhappy because they were single and frustrated with not having the "special someone" in their life yet.

I tried my best to let my friend now that she was already complete. She did not need another person to make her feel loved. She is already loved and has all the affection she needs.

I am surprised by a lot of Christians. Some actually "worship" what they call traditional marriage and family, and some actually teach that this is God's will for everyone. The Bible clearly teaches that marriage is limited to this temporal, human experience and that one day "we will be like the angels of heaven" not needing marriage.

Singlehood should never be looked down upon. It should be considered a gift to those who have it. And we should encourage single people to find fullfilment in their identity at God's children :)

What does everyone else think?


Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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4 Comments:

At 1/24/2008 12:06:00 PM, Blogger Magdiel Martinez said...

I guess, in a nutshell, we should make our relationship to God a priority in our life. If we do this, the rest will fall into place. Single or in a couple, God's Love will be fully expressed, and doesn't depend a physical, sexual, or romantic relationship. If we choose to lean on a "material staff" we won't truly experience God's Love to the fullest until we learn to depend entirely on Spirit :)

 
At 1/24/2008 02:51:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In my friendships, I'm learning to look beyond human trappings to the heart of people I meet. I'm very happy in a traditional marriage. My husband is of the same faith, ethnic and social economical background. As a young woman, I was pretty specific in requiring this sameness of any guy I was going to get serious about, and God obligated with the love of my life that met all the specifications. However, I would hope, if ever my marriage situation would change, that I would be open to whomever God might cause me to love as a partner without regards to age, race, religion even gender. I think openness to new ideas, new views is the key to success in any relationship--with friends, partners, even ourselves and God.

 
At 1/24/2008 04:09:00 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Lots of great ideas and insights on this topic! Seems like the best, the ultimate romance of our lives, whether single or married or otherwise coupled, should be our romance with Divine Love, God. And that romance will enhance all other relationships. Perhaps it is almost more difficult to heighten that romance with Love when one is coupled with another, especially someone who doesn't have that type of interest or who doesn't see the value in a relationship with God?

Anyway, these comments have reminded me of an experience I heard from a woman - probably about our age, L - who had been single all of her life and so desperately wanting a husband. A few years before she related this story, she realized that she was focusing on this too much, and just seeing the lack of something. She decided to put the whole thing out of her thought - must have taken some work! - and really focus on her relationship with God. She did, and really enjoyed life and her spiritual growth. And not much longer afterwards, she met a man just right for her and they were soon married. That was the answer for her, maybe not for others. Maybe just putting that hunger aside and reaching for God is the full answer for others.

bets

BTW - you ARE amazing as you are!tzfiilgw

 
At 1/25/2008 11:44:00 AM, Blogger Kim said...

great posts!!!!
the relationship bug hit me hard too recently. i realized that when God created us male and female - S/he created us in relationship already. Regardless of the form ofthe relationship , divine Love's ideas can never exist alone!

u roq.

 

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