Me? You mean me?
The journey lately has taken a surprising turn down a highway that is bringing me unexpected vistas. You know, the scenic route. I feel like I've been given permission to do something I've never dared before.
It crystallized for me when I was studying about Jesus in Atonement and Eucharist a few weeks ago, and it was a big enough idea that I couldn't write about it right away. So now here it is.
Jesus had this life of service, success, crucifixion, death, resurrection, and ascension. As I read about his trajectory in living God's will for him, for the first time I felt connected to every part of his career (in my own small way). In my life, I've served with an incredible team, experienced some success at getting the message out, then lost all that we'd achieved in a symbolic "crucifixion." I felt keenly the death of something I loved that we had worked hard to build, but then was gifted with an uplifting sense of resurrection (remarkably, the actual events happened a few years back on the days leading up to Easter). I learned that the true elements of all that we'd done remain intact and are continuing forward, and I've seen that abundantly since.
In reviewing this trajectory lately, it seemed the only part left to experience was the ascension. What did that mean to me today?
I've always thought of ascension as something that happens in the afterlife—we can't expect glory and grace here. This life here, I thought, is always flawed and meant to be a struggle. Now I'm thinking that perhaps this is old theology.
When taking this to the Divine as one big question mark, what came to me is this startling idea that I've been working with ever since. I felt the message come somewhat in this form:
Laura, you've spent your entire spiritual career finding out about Me. You've done a good job, you've served Me and gotten to know Me. You've built a strong foundation of understanding. Now it's time to find out about My creation. Now it's time to find out about you.
Me? Find out about me? I can't quite describe how profound this sense of spiritual "permission" has been. This, to me, is feeling like ascension. Like the hard part of life is behind me, and I won't have to re-do it. I've been through the wars, the sacrifice, the tears. I learned what I needed to learn. It's now about going forth and expressing, here and now, not waiting for some afterlife to experience the glory, but *now.*
I feel both mature and tested, and new and reborn. And I have this adventure ahead of me, partnering with the Divine to have my own genuine nature revealed.
And I never knew that besides glory and grace, ascension is also filled with gratitude.
The periods of spiritual ascension are the days and seasons of Mind's creation, in which beauty, sublimity, purity, and holiness — yea, the divine nature — appear in man and the universe never to disappear. Science and Health
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