We never lose anything
Dennis left this comment yesterday:
In thinking over my mourning over the loss of my dad, I think what I am mourning is the loss of what could of been. My dad had mental issues that hindered [him] from enjoying life as he could have. I know he loved me and was proud of me, but he had problems expressing it. He had a problem where he withdrew so much that he just barely tolerated life especially in his later years.
There were things I wanted to do with him, but he just [could] not enjoy much. He would engage me in conversations once in awhile, but on the whole was incapable of intimate interaction.
I think this is what I mourn. It is the "if only's" that bring me grief.
Dennis, my heart just went out to you when I read this. It mirrors some things in my own life so closely I felt like we were kindred spirits. And it’s calling on me to gain a higher perspective, for both of us.
When I’m thinking clearly, and not dwelling on what might have been that I missed, I realize several things:
- The people involved might have been incapable of expressing love humanly, but they’re not incapable of it spiritually. If I define them in my mind as trapped in their human personality, I’m consigning them to perpetual inability. But when I remember that all creations of Spirit embody all aspects of Spirit, like the rainbow includes all the colors, I can at least acknowledge that these dear ones on a spiritual level *do* express Love and Truth fully and completely. It’s only a limited sense of personality that keeps me from seeing it. I may never see any change humanly, but that sense is temporary. Freed from the mortal, complete expression is possible, indeed inevitable.
- All happiness and joy are mental. If I can imagine a perfect scenario, I can have it. The qualities that I’m experiencing in thought are just a real as those I experience physically—perhaps more so. My conviction is that we can experience anything that we can hold in thought. So, if we have a hope in our heart for a perfect relationship, by thinking it we call it forth. It may not manifest in specific interactions with a particular individual, but it’s just as real when it comes from all around us. I experienced this with my children. Things I had wanted expressed to me I was able to express to them, and thereby I experienced these things. They are now mine, even though they didn’t come from where I would have liked them to come humanly.
- The people in our lives who disappoint, who show a lack of capacity to give us what we think we need, are not who we think they are. They are instead glowing children of Light, complete, radiant, inextinguishable. Breaking free from the limitations of physicality, our relationship with them is one of joy and giving and appreciation and play. It’s the lie of mortality that makes us think the relationship is flawed, incomplete. The immortal relationship, the one that truly we’ll spend all eternity enjoying, is all that we can hope for it and more.
Dennis, you and I will have all that we’ve ever hoped for. We have lost nothing. It exists in thought, therefore it exists spiritually, and we will experience all the wonders we can ever have imagined.
We have nothing to fear when Love is at the helm of thought, but everything to enjoy on earth and in heaven. --Mary Baker Eddy
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