It's gonna be all right
Last night, I talked with my 15-year-old son who is away at school. I called him late, so I was already tired. He'd had a rough couple of days himself. So the conversation started out rocky.
We talked about a bunch of issues we're facing and I was getting kind of depressed, so finally I said, "Just tell me everything's going to be all right."
So he said, "Everything's going to be all right, Mom." His saying it actually did make me feel better.
That moment made me realize something. I'm not sure how to articulate it, but I think maybe it's time now for me to listen to the man in him. To pull away from seeing him as a child who needs me to take care of things for him; to instead see him as holding the reins of his own future.
This has been foundationally part of our relationship since the get go—I just wrote about it last week. Now for the first time though, for me it's becoming less hypothetical and more actual fact.
Do I believe he's a man in his own right? Can I put a lid on my own interfering and let him find his own way? Will this ultimately be the support he needs to do it himself?
I hope the answer to all those questions is "yes." I feel my heart flutter at the prospect, though. Do I trust enough?
And I'm realizing now as I'm writing that it's not my son I have to trust. I have to trust his Father, with a capital "F." His Father, God, is right there with him. It's this Father who will guide him and discipline him and mentor him and inspire him.
I can't do the Father's job. My mothering with a small "m" perhaps has served its purpose. Now I need to transition out of the driver's seat. Which is funny, because one of the things my son asked me about last night was when could he get his driver's permit.
So it's a bittersweet morning here at the Matthews house. But it's a bright and sunny and crisp day, and I know everything's going to be all right. My son told me so.
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