Tuesday, March 06, 2007

It's gonna be all right

Last night, I talked with my 15-year-old son who is away at school. I called him late, so I was already tired. He'd had a rough couple of days himself. So the conversation started out rocky.

We talked about a bunch of issues we're facing and I was getting kind of depressed, so finally I said, "Just tell me everything's going to be all right."

So he said, "Everything's going to be all right, Mom." His saying it actually did make me feel better.

That moment made me realize something. I'm not sure how to articulate it, but I think maybe it's time now for me to listen to the man in him. To pull away from seeing him as a child who needs me to take care of things for him; to instead see him as holding the reins of his own future.

This has been foundationally part of our relationship since the get go—I just wrote about it last week. Now for the first time though, for me it's becoming less hypothetical and more actual fact.

Do I believe he's a man in his own right? Can I put a lid on my own interfering and let him find his own way? Will this ultimately be the support he needs to do it himself?

I hope the answer to all those questions is "yes." I feel my heart flutter at the prospect, though. Do I trust enough?

And I'm realizing now as I'm writing that it's not my son I have to trust. I have to trust his Father, with a capital "F." His Father, God, is right there with him. It's this Father who will guide him and discipline him and mentor him and inspire him.

I can't do the Father's job. My mothering with a small "m" perhaps has served its purpose. Now I need to transition out of the driver's seat. Which is funny, because one of the things my son asked me about last night was when could he get his driver's permit.

So it's a bittersweet morning here at the Matthews house. But it's a bright and sunny and crisp day, and I know everything's going to be all right. My son told me so.

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At 3/06/2007 10:06:00 AM, Blogger PtCakes said...

Everything's going to be all right...
Everything's going to be all right.

I went to a retreat last week and the leader "intermissioned" the session with this classic reggae song.

It will be.

At 3/06/2007 01:25:00 PM, Anonymous Dennis R. said...

There are many times I long to hear those words.

At 3/06/2007 04:03:00 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

What a sweet - bittersweet even - story, Laura! Thanks for sharing it. It reminds me of you how have said that you look at parenting as 'raising adults,' not 'raising children,' thus looking forward to the end product. Perhaps you are now able to celebrate that harvest from your diligent work? What a joy to see the results come to fruition!


At 3/06/2007 04:48:00 PM, Blogger DawnApril said...

very nice. so these are the wings they predict...

At 3/06/2007 08:32:00 PM, Blogger Kim said...

from the Korinek's house to the Matthew's house: it's gonna be allright. Check out http://www.criswilliamson.com/about/music/samples/changer/1_Waterfall.mov
it is one of those "low, sad and sweet songs" that lifts you right up.

At 3/06/2007 10:12:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

hey there...it IS alright...i have been thinking about you alot since spending an evening with your sister and her husband and feeling so grateful for every opportunity that I have to feel the sense of sisterhood that this spiritual sorority (and yes...you guys are included Miles, Jeff, Travis, Evan and Colin..and...)I love the compassion and encouragement we feel here..God has a complete plan for each of us...I have been working with the thought that God "delineates" to think that God has it all outlined and it is perfectly beautiful...like you...from our house to yours...It is well with the child...xoxoxo


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