My one true Love
As a little Valentine today, I'd like to offer an entry I wrote some time ago:
Also, below is a retelling of another experience that meant a lot to me (some of this has been taken from a prior entry).
When I was about twelve with womanhood just around the corner, my notion of love comprised the classic Prince Charming scenario. I imagined finding the perfect love, who would be a strong capable guy who knew all about me and would take care of me. I frequently imagined his voice, saying, "I love you, Laura," with such conviction and depth.
I carried this voice with me through years of searching. It comforted me at every breakup, stood by me when others deserted, reassured me when I felt the most unlovable. Yet I could never find the guy himself. I'd start something new, hoping this would be the owner of the voice, yet it would inevitably falter and I'd find myself alone again.
Finally, a particular relationship came to an abrupt end and it was all just too painful. I'd really thought I'd found the guy of my dreams. When it ended, I was distraught.
I lived in SoCal at the time, and I remember sitting near a pier in Marina Del Rey on Saturday morning just after seeing this most recent love-of-my-life. As my tears were streaming down my face, I heard that dang voice again! "I love you, Laura." Said with such tenderness and affection. At that moment, it was completely aggravating. So internally, I shouted at God, Who is that guy? Where will I find him already?
And the answer was this simple: It's Me, Laura. It's always been Me.
I got it! The sun streamed down on me and the grass glowed brilliant green, the water lapped soothingly and I felt Loved. And the realization that I'd always been Loved made me start laughing with delight through my still drying tears.
I've felt Loved ever since. That was indeed the day I found my true Love—the strong capable one who knows all about me and takes care of me.
Happy Valentine's Day.
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