Thursday, December 07, 2006

My final day in court

Finally settled! I've mentioned in prior posts about the legal process I was going through, and today we had our moment before the judge to sign and seal the agreement after settling outside of court.

I'm glad now that it took almost a year to settle since I had some spiritual lessons to learn. The whole process has taught me a lot about forgiveness. I went back and forth throughout the year, wrestling as to whether I should just walk away from the issue or whether it was right to pursue it.

In the end, what I think became most important was to be able to move ahead without anger. When I was angry or feeling injured, I couldn't think clearly and wanted retribution. When I put on my empathy hat and thought of the other party with understanding (and occasionally even love), all I then wanted was what was fair. And fair is what I eventually got.

This ties in remarkably with something my mom told me a few weeks ago (which I wrote down because it was so powerful and because I'm writing a family history):

What I have learned

by Laura's Mommy

The purpose of life is forgiveness. I have learned that so strongly, just recently. It's an amazing thing. How healing it is for yourself to be able to go back through your life, go back through *my* whole life, and just be forgiving for everything that happened. I had sort of a Charles Dickens childhood, now I see the purpose of all that so that I could learn forgiveness. That's all you really need to know. If you can reach that height of spirituality where everything is forgiven and forgotten and zeroed out, you're there, there's not much else you can do. That's the mystery of life.

It just came to me so strongly so I'm clinging to that now. It's a wonderful feeling, it releases everything, it's so good for people to be able to do that. I'm so grateful that things keep coming to me that need to be learned and proved and demonstrated. It's almost like God sitting on your shoulder, saying, you must correct this and change this or have a new viewpoint. Every time you do that your spirituality level goes up. It's the only thing important in life to me, at this stage.

I love my mommy.

Last week, when myself and the other party met face to face with our attorneys for the first time since the proceeding started, I strove mightily to go in with no chip on my shoulder. As I drove to our meeting, I prayed about finding love in my heart for this individual, for indeed we had once been close friends. And even though the person didn't do or say exactly what I would have wanted during our conference, I kept my cool and didn't take it as a fight. When our attorneys conferred privately, I struck up friendly conversation and we talked about some mutual acquaintances and how they're doing. Settlement came very quickly once we all put our cards on the table. When I realized we were all nodding "yes," I just spontaneously hugged my old friend and wept, and there was some weeping on the other side, too.

I think it's interesting that they say, "practice forgiveness," because it does take practice. Forgiveness is very powerful. It doesn't let people off the hook, but it does free your heart to love again.


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1 Comments:

At 12/07/2006 04:09:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

ah sweet friend...so glad that you have found peace and resolution...you are so dear to me...all love and my warmest hugs PS...I love my mommy too!...and now I love yours...hug her for me

 

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