Friday, December 08, 2006

Jumping when you're told

Today's story is about a powerful vision I had many years ago, when I was facing some intense anxiety about my future. (I feel like I may have told this story before, but it doesn't appear to be on my blog yet.)

I had been laid off from the job in LA, and the kids were still small. Months had gone by, and I was beginning to get the idea I was headed for a new profession in the spiritual practice. See this blog entry for the larger story. What that blog entry doesn't detail, though, is some of the struggle I went through as I prayed to know whether spiritual healing would be enough to sustain me and my family.

So one night, I had a vision. Even though it happened while I was sleeping, I don't call it a dream. It still stays with me, I can picture it as clearly as any memory I have.

In this vision, my two children (8 and 3 at the time) and I were on a small row boat. The sea around us roiled with a storm, and the boat was breaking up. I clung to the shards of wood, desperate to save the kids. Suddenly, a man was in the boat with us. He had a reddish moustache and beard and longish hair, and a gentle face.

He said to me, "Jump in."

I said, "Are you crazy? The kids'll drown!"

He said, "Jump in!"

And, I have to admit, I flatly refused. But the boat was rapidly dissolving. The man scooped us up in his arms and fell with us all three into the sea.

The next thing I knew, I was holding the kids in my arms under water. The man had disappeared, but a whale showed up and swallowed us. It wasn't scary or slimy, but warm and dry like in the movie Pinocchio.

In a moment, we were released onto a sandy beach. The sky was clear, the waves were calm, everything was golden. We were safe and warm.

When I awoke later, I remembered every detail. I felt this was a message to me about my situation. Here's how I'd interpret the symbolism:

  • Water = fear
  • Boat = what I'd relied on in the past
  • Kids = what I had to protect
  • Man in boat = the Christ
  • Whale = the transitional stage
  • Shore = where I wind up if I obey

This message really comforted me. It's like God was showing me my entire future, collapsed symbolically into that one episode.

So guess what? I jumped in. I consented mentally to spiritual healing as a lifework, and I knew everything would be okay.

When I remember that vision, I feel again what it's like to be on that shore. Sometimes in my day-to-day life, it seems as though that I'm still in the whale. But heck, at least I'm not in the boat.

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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At 12/09/2006 06:45:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

great story sweetie....and i love thinking of you and the kids in the dry, warm belly of a benevolent whale with a little bonfire burning and you, toasting marshmallows and making s'mores!~...hugs,

At 12/10/2006 12:26:00 AM, Anonymous rev. Veronika said...

Thank you Laura! This was a wonderful inner picture of a spiritual reality. Bless you!
Love, Veronika


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