Friday, December 08, 2006

Jumping when you're told

Today's story is about a powerful vision I had many years ago, when I was facing some intense anxiety about my future. (I feel like I may have told this story before, but it doesn't appear to be on my blog yet.)

I had been laid off from the job in LA, and the kids were still small. Months had gone by, and I was beginning to get the idea I was headed for a new profession in the spiritual practice. See this blog entry for the larger story. What that blog entry doesn't detail, though, is some of the struggle I went through as I prayed to know whether spiritual healing would be enough to sustain me and my family.

So one night, I had a vision. Even though it happened while I was sleeping, I don't call it a dream. It still stays with me, I can picture it as clearly as any memory I have.

In this vision, my two children (8 and 3 at the time) and I were on a small row boat. The sea around us roiled with a storm, and the boat was breaking up. I clung to the shards of wood, desperate to save the kids. Suddenly, a man was in the boat with us. He had a reddish moustache and beard and longish hair, and a gentle face.

He said to me, "Jump in."

I said, "Are you crazy? The kids'll drown!"

He said, "Jump in!"

And, I have to admit, I flatly refused. But the boat was rapidly dissolving. The man scooped us up in his arms and fell with us all three into the sea.

The next thing I knew, I was holding the kids in my arms under water. The man had disappeared, but a whale showed up and swallowed us. It wasn't scary or slimy, but warm and dry like in the movie Pinocchio.

In a moment, we were released onto a sandy beach. The sky was clear, the waves were calm, everything was golden. We were safe and warm.

When I awoke later, I remembered every detail. I felt this was a message to me about my situation. Here's how I'd interpret the symbolism:

  • Water = fear
  • Boat = what I'd relied on in the past
  • Kids = what I had to protect
  • Man in boat = the Christ
  • Whale = the transitional stage
  • Shore = where I wind up if I obey

This message really comforted me. It's like God was showing me my entire future, collapsed symbolically into that one episode.

So guess what? I jumped in. I consented mentally to spiritual healing as a lifework, and I knew everything would be okay.

When I remember that vision, I feel again what it's like to be on that shore. Sometimes in my day-to-day life, it seems as though that I'm still in the whale. But heck, at least I'm not in the boat.


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2 Comments:

At 12/09/2006 06:45:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

great story sweetie....and i love thinking of you and the kids in the dry, warm belly of a benevolent whale with a little bonfire burning and you, toasting marshmallows and making s'mores!~...hugs,

 
At 12/10/2006 12:26:00 AM, Anonymous rev. Veronika said...

Thank you Laura! This was a wonderful inner picture of a spiritual reality. Bless you!
Love, Veronika

 

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