Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Old hurts

The news today out of Pennsylvania shocks and saddens. The perpetrator apparently felt the need for retribution for an injury he experienced as a child. [Edit: actually, it turns out he had himself injured others.] It makes me wonder, how many old hurts am I carrying around? And how can I deal with it now?

How do we heal old hurts before they flare up into irrational striking back? This question covers a lot of ground, from family members to neighborhoods to countries to centuries-old tribal hatreds.

I talked about this with one very dear to me yesterday. She knows one of my strange quirks—that I don't remember much of my childhood. But some issues associated with my childhood flared up recently, and she was there to help me sort through it. Her understanding and validation helped me so much, yet I still have a ways to go. For I know I still have to forgive and move on.

Events and interactions I don't even consciously remember continue to hover in my experience, and while I may never be able to address them head-on because I frankly don't remember them, I do have to let them go. Because unless I do, I'll continue to re-enact them, as I've seen on occasion when I find myself doing things I don't consciously understand.

Strange the workings of mortal mind. None of it makes sense, and it never will. The only way I've ever found of making sense of it is to see it for what it is—a gigantic irrationality, an unexplainable nothingness. Mary Baker Eddy writes, "Mortal existence is an enigma. Every day is a mystery" (Science and Health). It's never going to make sense. So I don't spend time trying to unravel the cause-and-effect of my human history. Occasionally insights will come unbidden, but I'm not trying to figure it all out. Instead, I strive to dig deeper into spiritual reality and evaluate my existence from that vantage point.

Divine Mind governs. Divine Mind is the only Mind I have. Divine Mind's ideas are my only memories. Divine Mind's will is my only motivation. Divine Mind is Love, so goodness and harmony fill that Mind and are reflected by me. I don't have to know how or why something unreal became lodged in my experience—I can let the presence of divine Mind expunge it naturally.

So what are my old hurts? There are some on the surface, there are others out of sight. When I feel afraid to face them, I can let divine Mind do the fighting for me. I can dwell in Mind, and let that light dispel the darkness.

And please, please, dear Father, let that light also shine in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Iran, in North Korea—in Pennsylvania. Save us from our memories, bring us the peace of divine Mind.

REMINDER: Sign up for the Spiritual Open House, this Sunday, October 8.

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At 10/06/2006 01:24:00 AM, Blogger Kim said...


I loved this post. Thanks for taking this issue to a look at our own hurts. i linked to you --- again!


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