Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Above the swirl

Someone wrote to me the other day in appreciation for my blog, but also stated that sometimes they "worry" about me—that I put myself too "out there," and it could be dangerous from a metaphysical point of view. I understand what they mean—there is sometimes an element to expressing Truth that can make one a target for error. I'd like to share today the experience that taught me how to deal with being a target.

Back in 1997, I served on a special task force to redesign one of the Christian Science magazines. I got to know the editorial staff, and at one point, because I was the hip chick from California, one of the editors blithely asked me, "Do you know anyone who can write about homosexuality for the magazine? We really need something about that." So I grunted and said I'd get them something shortly.

I worked very hard on that piece (you can read it here). It touched on a lot of things—my own sexuality, my church experience, my amazing friendship with a fabulous gay man. I couldn't have been more "out there," but it felt completely natural. We went back and forth on the editing and finally had something we all felt good about. It was scheduled to run in December of that year.

Now the funny thing about the distribution of the magazine in question is that it comes through snail mail from one source on the East Coast. So, delivery sort of waves across the country whenever an issue comes out. I found myself getting strangely sick that December and having no idea why, and then my copy of the magazine came about two weeks later. I had already dealt with the sickness so figured it was a one-time incident. Then I got sick again. Two weeks later, another magazine came with a supportive letter to the editor. Ah. Dealt with that. But it happened again—this time a scathing letter—and again—another positive letter. I also received many letters in the mail.

I really disliked being buffeted around like this. I recognized the article had stirred thought, and because my name was on it, I personalized that stirring and gave it a focus. But, how to deal with it?

Certainly I studied all that Mary Baker Eddy has to say about things like mental malpractice and aggressive mental suggestion. But the article was also doing a lot of good. My favorite letter came from a grandmother who had learned her grandson was gay. My article helped her to see she could keep right on loving him. Something that did that much good couldn't be harmful to the one who did it.

The answer came when one day, deep in prayer, I had this image: mortal existence can do all the swirling it wants down here (making hand motions at the waist level). However, my existence is up here (hand motions over the head). I had the sensation of looking down at the swirl of mortal mind, duking out its own problems in a polluted cloud of confusion. I then looked out over spiritual reality from this higher perspective, which was the mountaintop, filled with light and clean air.

I am and always have been on the mountaintop. There is no need to be affected by the swirl of mortal mind. I am not there.

This healing remained permanent. I suffered no more ill effects from the ripples the article generated. And, in the years since then, when I've been in places where my name is closely linked to high-profile projects or rapid change, I've either been free from the effects of the swirl or have quickly recognized them and countered them.

So hey, don't worry about me. Counter the claims that mortal mind can resist Truth and cause harm to the Truth-sayer. Truth is above it all.

Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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At 10/10/2006 10:30:00 AM, Blogger Kim said...

great article!!

you are still one of my favorite hip chicks.......

At 10/10/2006 12:39:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

Hey darlin...I'm with Kim...you're still a favorite hip chick...I remember the article, I remember the swirl, and I remember your poise...stay hip..love you, Kate


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