Monday, September 18, 2006

Gratitude abounds

There's one thing I'm bringing to just about every conversation lately, and it's gratitude. I'm growing more and more grateful for how things are going for me and my son, and every time anyone asks me how things are going, I just can help radiating about it.

After a very rocky spring and summer, he's now away at school. When you compare now to what things were like only a few short months ago, say in early June, it's like a great darkness has ceded to brilliant light.

When people ask me how this happened, I have to say it was my own letting go. There were many other circumstances swirling, but the turning point for me personally was my own realization that I couldn’t myself solve the problems. I had to let go of the need to find a solution that would fix everything, and instead just trust completely that divine Spirit had it all covered.

And don't you know, the solution that Spirit gave us was indeed the one I'd humanly outlined months ago. But my own trying to force it to happen actually got in the way of making any progress toward it. Spirit's wisdom finally revealed that it couldn't be my decision at all. It had to be my son's. When I got out of the way and let my boy decide his own life, it turned out he had his own connection to Spirit and he acted accordingly.

It was very scary to get out of the way and let him decide, though. Up until that point, his self-decisions had been to my mind dangerous and harmful. So I had no idea what he was going to do if I let go. It was like he was hanging off a cliff by a rope that I was holding, and me getting the message to let go.

Silly me. Spirit had the trampoline waiting there underneath him all along. He just bounced back up to me and said, "Hi, Mom! Look at me, I'm fine!"

So I'm just grateful and gleeful and loving getting all his reports.

God is good.


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