Thursday, May 11, 2006

God is Like

You know that feeling of loving someone intensely but not necessarily liking them all the time? I used to think God was like that.

You know, He loves me because He *has* to, because God is Love, so what else can He do? The same as the way parents have to love their kids, it’s just required. But as for liking me, well, I figured if He really knew me, He wouldn’t like me that much. So I avoided eye contact and figured it was best if He just loved me from a distance.

God didn’t leave it there, though. He really is like the father in the prodigal son story, who comes running out to meet his returning son. God came to get me, to let me know how He really feels about me.

It was a time when I wrestled with depression about how my life was going. I’d experienced rejection yet again and was weighed down under it. Yet as I prayed I came across this passage from the Bible:

the Lord's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance. He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings: So the Lord alone did lead him, and there was no strange god with him.

--Deuteronomy

The “apple of his eye” phrase glowed to me that day. What does it mean to be the apple of someone’s eye? To me, it means I am special to God, that when I walk into a room His delighted attention is immediately drawn to me, that I interest and even entrance Him, that whatever I’m up to has His full and complete approval.

In short, He likes me.

This insight had profound impact. If He likes me, then heck, I can call Him any time. I can bring Him my thorniest problems and He’ll drop everything to help. For a moment, I felt like the kid up at the top of the jungle gym, who looks over at his parents to see them smiling and waving. God was waving at me, grinning from ear to ear, happy I exist--seeing all that I am and being delighted with me.

I loved that feeling. The glow of approval and genuine interest healed me that day of my depression. I moved through that day with a spring in my step and a buoyant heart.

I still turn to that feeling now and then when feeling low. And there God is, smiling and waving.


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2 Comments:

At 5/11/2006 02:39:00 PM, Blogger Kate said...

hi darling friend....I loved this blog...it gave me even more insight into the amazing thinker you are....hugs,

 
At 5/11/2006 04:21:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have recently heard this quote from St Augustine:

"God loves each one of us as if there was only one of us to love".

 

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