Monday, February 27, 2006

Embrace your confusion

Last week I met with Mary, a life coach in the networking organization I belong to for my writing/editing business. Talking with her truly inspired me.

She asked me about my career goals (because that’s her thing), and I realized in answering that I must be smack dab in the middle of some sort of transitional period. In addition to my very active (for me) healing practice, I’m also writing and editing small business websites, correspondence, resumes, bios, family memoirs, and a novel (when I can get to it!), maintaining three weblogs, launching a new site with some friends, serving as chair of the executive board at my church, raising a kid, and starting to date again. I’m not sure where any of it is leading or what it will add up to.

So I’ve been characterizing this time as scattering seeds. Small business counselors will advise you to narrow your focus and carve out a niche, but I can’t yet. This is the year of planting. I’m not sure what will sprout and grow, but I have to water all of it for now to see what will happen.

Mary laughed and pulled out a 4x6 laminated card from her wallet. She’s part of a women’s group where they each take a card each week as sort of an inspirational theme. This one said:

Embrace your confusion
Let there be peace in not knowing all the answers.

Haha! Hit home with me!

How can there be any peace when you’re in a time of transition? When you don’t know what the future holds? Well, the funny thing is, we only ever just *think* we know what the future holds. Change can happen at any time. We’re perpetually at a point of possible radical change. What keeps us steady?

For example, a year and a half ago, I was blissfully settled in a life I loved. Everything worked like clockwork. Issues were brewing, both at work and on the family front, but I remained happily unaware. I floated along uninterrupted—until a sudden and abrupt change, just about a year ago, turned everything on its head. The life I loved—shattered, over, in the past, just like that.

I needed peace badly, but couldn’t find it in human circumstances. I had to turn straight to the all-knowing divine Mind. At first I was angry about the macro-implications of what had happened. The change affected not just me, but many others. So I had to move into my cocoon in a more micro way, to see that divine Mind, which is Love, was still caring for me personally. Little things tipped me off, like a physical healing when I needed it and the success of some initial ideas.

It took some time, but as my confidence grew that I would never run out of ideas from Mind, my peace was restored, along with my happiness. Now I feel like there’s nothing I’d rather be doing than bouncing out of bed every morning to see what the day brings. I have no idea what it will be, but know it will be great. Every day brings me a gift of a new friend, or an inspired conversation, or the opportunity to comfort. It’s astonishing.

The other people, too, who were affected by the change, have moved on to brilliant new next steps. None of which any of us would have done without the change. So the change was a gift, really.

Thank God we don’t know all the answers. Thank God we don’t control all the outcomes. For how would we gain the blessing of newness if we were never forced to change?


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Your ideas and inspiration are welcome! Please comment below or Contact Laura.
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3 Comments:

At 2/27/2006 05:39:00 PM, Blogger Franklin said...

Hello,

I relate with this period of your activity.

Several years ago I was extremely busy with things I had gotten involved with or started because I wanted to start an activity because I had time.

Several people kept telling me to slow down and focus on what was important.

I listened to some of them because I respected their input.

However, when I got off by myself to consider what they told me.

I arrived at a different question than, what to focus on, as was suggested.

The question that I arrived at for me was; What do you want to give up right now?

After some consideration. The answer for me AT THAT TIME was, nothing.

I was doing these things because I wanted to do them, not because I had to do them. No area was suffering or being left undone.

A year later I began to feel as though some of these things had run their course and was time to back off of some things.

When the time for this was right, I knew it and it was no problem or burden.

Some things were completed, somethings were no longer needed. It was simply another stage of smooth change.

 
At 2/28/2006 06:09:00 PM, Blogger SBB said...

Laura:

Thank you for the inspiration. I just met with a friend last night who received an employment extension after given an initial severance date.

We talked about working through the uncertainty and your posting put the trust and healing focus right on track!

-Diane

 
At 3/01/2006 09:54:00 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Franklin and Diane, thanks so much for your comments!

Warmly, Laura

 

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