Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Happy marriage!

I went to a precious event over the weekend; the celebration of a couple's 25th anniversary. The proceedings included a reenactment of their wedding, this time incorporating their beautiful almost grown daughters. The reenactment, staged by the daughters and other relatives, was a surprise to the couple, and quite touching. They participated heartily, and I could see that they were reviewing the words to themselves and measuring their vows against the last 25 years.

And I know this couple. They are true blue, one of the amazing marriages it's been my privilege to know. Listening to those vows they made so long ago, and realizing here was a couple who had kept those vows, gave me hope for marriage and for the world. It is possible to succeed at marriage.

Later, there were tributes to the couple. The wife's sister gave a lovely toast that included some of the things she'd learned from knowing them that I wanted to share here:

  • Laughter fixes almost everything.
  • Commitment is sometimes more important than love.
  • Don't commit your spouse to anything without talking to the spouse first.
  • No one is more important than your mate.
  • Parenthood is a phenomenal privilege.
  • Gratitudes are an amazing addition to any meal.
  • If you fall in love with a person's character, you will be in love for life.
  • Be affectionate with each other in front of your children.
  • My family is your family for the asking.
  • Again, laughter fixes most problems.

(shared with permission)

I especially loved the idea about commitment and the falling in love with character concept. The sister also emphasized laughter. I also saw with my own eyes at this event how important this last point is: marriage is meant to be happy. All the marriages at this event were examples of happy ones. How refreshing, and what an inspiration.

Coincidentally, I’m currently reading the chapter on Marriage with my Science and Health Reading Group. And I've been struck again with how many times the book's author, Mary Baker Eddy, refers to happiness throughout her chapter. It’s a short one, only 14 or so pages, but almost every page is dotted with words like happiness, cheer, smiles, enjoyments, joys, gladdens. It's almost as though she's saying happiness is a requirement for marriage to work.

This comforts me, because so many times in my past I've thought happiness is a luxury, something that we only get after we've slogged through every other spiritual, moral, emotional and practical requirement. I've thought of happiness as something to earn, as something I had to deserve.

But now I think of happiness as a divine right. God made me a happy, I can stay that way through deeper knowledge of Him and His will for me.

I'd really recommend that chapter on Marriage if you haven't seen it. I know this couple whom we were celebrating have used it as a guide throughout their married life. It's got good counsel for any relationship, really.

Thank you to that wonderful family for sharing their precious time with me.


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1 Comments:

At 7/18/2005 07:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

It was a very nice event, wasn't it? Gave me hope too. Thanks for your words here. Steve

 

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